Wednesday, 8 August 2012

4. The 'F' Word - Part One

*Okay, I don't want to confuse anyone so I thought I better explain. The first chapter is set in the present day and chapters 2 and 3 are flashbacks to before Safaree left. The next few chaps will be leading up to Safaree leaving and then I will cut back to the present day? Ya got me? Im sorry if I confused you you!! Well hope it's alright for everyone!*

Safaree was still sat in the kitchen an hour later wondering why the hell Nicki was still in bed, she usually never slept this late. Especially when she knew she was going to the studio in the afternoon. Looking around he stopped when something caught his eye, it was a bottle of wine he and Rex had well and truly consumed a few weeks ago, only it was Nicki's. He knew she would never drink it anyway so they refilled it with all sorts of different alcohol they could find, thinking about it now they could have just used water but they were beyond wasted at the time. Suddenly starting to panic he stood up, grabbed her breakfast plate out of the oven and headed up to her room. What if she had been drinking their crazy concoction? She could hardly handle her liqor as it was. Knocking furiously he waited for her to answer. Still nothing.

"Nic? Nicki, come on! Just open the door, please?"

She didn't move, instead she just lay still and hoped he would go away. She knew he wouldn't though and to be honest his constant yelling for her to let him in was giving her a headache. Slowly sitting up she threw the covers back and shuffled over to the door.

"What?" She snapped as she opened it to see him stood there with a plate.

"Shit, what the hell took you so long?" He made his way in to her room as she rolled her eyes and shut the door behind him.

"Safaree, what are you doing?"

"Im flying a kite Onika. The fuck does it look like? I made you breakfast, but if you gon' act like this then I ain't stickin' 'round to deal with your bad attitude." He stood up to walk away expecting her to stop him but she didn't. He was surprised.

"You're gonna leave me anyway so, whatever." She mumbled as she started to make her bed up.
He couldn't believe she was actually being like this, she was the on who picked Drake and now he was being punished for that.

"Look, Nicki! I fucking gave a choice. You picked him. End of. I'm not 'bout to stick 'round to see you two happily gettin' on with your lives, while I'm stuck watching the woman I love with another nigga! I can't do that, I won't do that!" He shook his head and walked out, slamming the door behind him as the tears started rolling down her face.

Later on that day Nicki finally managed to drag herself out of that room and headed downstairs, she was thankful that Safaree had cleaned up after last night. She was supposed to be heading to the studio in less than half an hour so she skipped food and went straight there, hoping it would take her mind off of things.


"Draaaake?!" His friend Johnny (don't ask!) was shaking him only to receive a few groans until he finally opened his eyes. "Shit! What the fuck were you drinking last night?!" He started laughing as he sat up slowly.

"Woaah! Ion even know...why i am at your place?" He looked around confusedly.

"You don't remember? You told me that you and Nic had an argument last night at hers so I told you I'd come get you 'cause you couldn't drive, you were so fucked up! I had to take James with me to get your car and bring it back here!" He pointed to Drake's car out of the window.

"Wait? I had an argument with Nicki?" He furrowed his brow. "Is that all I said?"

"Pretty much." Johnny folded his lips after saying it. "You want somethin' to eat? You lookin' pasty?"

"Nah, I'm good...thanks. I better go sort things with Nic." He rested his head in his hands and sighed loudly before pulling out his phone and texting her.


Lunch at Primo's, I'll pay. We need to talk, bout last night. x

She really couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. Slamming her phone down she caught Wayne's attention.

"Hey, you okay Nic?"

"Fine." She didn't bother looking at him.

"Bullshit you're fine! Look at you slammin' your phone down and shit." He moved closer to her. "Look, we pretty much done here, you can go if you want?" He knew she wouldn't talk if she didn't want to so decided to let her go home and fix whatever needed fixing.

"Thanks." Without making eye contact she hugged him feebly and headed out to her car whilst texting Drake back.

I'll see you there.

He knew he was in deep shit when she replied that abruptly, so preparing for the worst he drove home, showered and got changed before grabbing his keys and making his way across town to Primo's. She wasn't there thankfully so he was shown to their reserved table and waited for her. When she finally did get there she looked tired. He stood up awkwardly to greet her but was met with a cold stare.

"Don't." She snapped and sat down.

"Look, Ion know what I've done, or what happened but I can't remember shit from last night. What'd we argue 'bout this time?" He looked nervous and kind of shy which caught her attention.

"Argue?" She laughed dryly "We did a lot more than fucking argue Drake!" Shaking her head she stood up to leave. "I don't even know why I came."

"Nicki wait!" He grabbed her arm making her turn around quickly.

"Get your fucking hands off of me! Now!"

"Would you just stop, or at least tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to have done?!" He was getting angry now. He soon calmed after realising that hald of the restaurant goers were looking at them, some probably knew who they were too. "Look, let's go back to your place. We need to talk, privately."

Back at her house, she let them both in and they headed to the lounge room.

"Now, you think we could have a decent conversation? like adults?" Nicki just sat and waited for him to talk. "I'm sorry for whatever I did, like I said, Ion remember shit. What happened?"

"First of all, how the fuck are you sorry when you ain't even know what you did?" He flinched slightly at the level of anger in her voice.

"Well tell me what happened then." He decided to stay cool otherwise they were both just going to explode and nothing would be resolved. She frowned hard.

"Wait? So, you really can't remember what happened last night? What you did to me?" Her Queens accent was showing through her sentences, he crumpled his face up at the last question as he looked down at his hands.

"Please, don't tell me I lay a hand on you?"

"You laid both your fuckin' hands on me! You wouldn't stop, I said 'No' over and over and over just wouldn't fucking listen!" Her voice started to crack so she stood up and walked over to the window with her back to him. "And then I kept telling you to stop. I was begging for fucks sake." There was no response so she turned around to look at him, he had his head resting in his hands and she watched him for a few seconds only to realise he was crying. She didn't go over to him in case he wasn't but hearing him actually sob made her go back and sit down. "You really can't remember?" Her voice was softer now, all he could do was shake his head no. She had never, ever seen a guy cry like this before. After a couple of minutes he managed to compose himself.

"So, I....?" He didn't even have to finish asking as she shook her head yes to answer him and looked down. "Ahh fuck, I can't remember anything. I am so, so, so sorry Nic! You know I would never mean to hurt you." She could honestly say she knew he wouldn't hurt her, so long as he wasn't drunk anyways. Deep down she did know that he was genuine and her mother's words echoed through her mind "Forgiveness, you can't move forward unless you forgive". Moving closer to him she put her hand on his cheek and wiped away some of the tears that lingered there.

"I..Believe you. I forgive you too, we can work this out. On condition that you stop with the alcohol though." It wasn't a question and he knew it. There was no way he was going near that stuff again if it meant possibly losing her, or doing something to her that he might regret...again. She leaned in to kiss him gently, he kissed her back too and they both pulled away and fell back slowly into the couch with his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her hand resting on his chest. They stayed there for a while and just as she was drifting off to sleep they heard keys in the front door and Safaree stepped in with a load of shopping bags in his hand. He felt awful after yelling at Nicki that morning so he went out and got her some presents whilst he was running his errands. Much to his dismay Drake was there. They both turned around on the couch to see him dropping his keys in the bowl, as soon as Drake saw him memories of the night before came flooding back. Then he remembered what must have got him so angry.

"S'up?" Safaree asked as he made his way past the lounge room into the kitchen. Drake didn't answer as Nicki just smiled at SB she was also feeling bad about how the morning went. She was still hurt, angry and upset about what Drake did to her but if her mother said that 'forgiving' is what had to be done, then she would do it. However much she didn't want too, her mother knew best and it would pan out eventually. Or would it?

"Imma go take a shower, you can stay and catch up with Faree if you want?" She asked sweetly hoping that he would say yes. She really didn't want him to shower with her.

"Or, I could go with you?" She was facing away from him at that point and cringed, quickly trying to think of an excuse.

"Oh noo, wait! I didn't mean like that I just...I mean-" She cut him off before he got too loud and Safaree heard.

"It's fine, I know....You could just watch the TV while you wait." She continued up the stairs with him following. He had to think of something, there was no way he would be able to stay in the same room as Safaree and not want to hit him. Once they reached her room, the familiar surroundings made him remember some more. He shuddered and shook the thoughts out of his head as Nicki gathered herself some fresh clothes and lay them on the bed. Walking into the bathroom she shut the door behind her and proceeded to shower as he sat uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, he couldn't sit on it knowing what he had done to her there. At the same time as feeling guilty and sick he still felt incredible anger towards her and her little affair she had going on. Even more so when he looked around her room only just noticing all of the pictures of Nicki and Safaree everywhere. There was not ONE picture of himself to be seen. "Fuck this! She's just takin' me for a ride!" he had been having incredibly angry outbursts for the last few months now, only made worse by his daily drinking habit. Once angered he found it exceptionally hard to calm him self down again, he felt the alcohol calmed him but that was just numbing him. Instead it just ignited his fury even more. Reaching into his pocket he found an airplane liqor bottle (you know the mini ones you get?) he skulled it and put it back in his pocket, exhaling slowly. Before he knew it Nicki was re-appaearing out of the bathroom in just her towel, a very short towel. His eyes went straight to all of the marks and bruises on her inner thighs and upper arms. Catching him looking she grabbed the clothes attempting to go back into the bathroom and change.

"Did...did I do that to you?" Turning around slowly she answered him in a shy, quiet tone.

"Yes." He shut his eyes and ran his hands over his face as she went back to the bathroom and changed. When she came back out fully dressed he was gone, she heard the front door shut and sighed out of relief. Quite honestly she was done with him, but she desperately wanted to abide her mother's words and say she tried. Her phone buzzed downstairs, Safaree heard it and picked it up to see who was texting her, he huffed when he saw his name and nosily decided to read what it said.

I can't deal with this right now.

Safaree frowned. "The fuck he talkin' 'bout?" But little did either of them know....

*Ohh god, sorry bout how short it is, I promise SB will be in it more for the next chapter. I just needed to make Drake seem like less of a monster....for now! Oh yeah and this is the one that I asked to please  have 8 comments before I continue, just so that I can concentrate on my others too! Cuz I know I won't get 8 comments for a while so I can update Forever Young, I have been neglecting that one!! Well hope it wasn't too drama-less...just wait for part two! And let the drama begin!! >_< Oh and sorry for typos! *


  1. He needs to really quit with the drinking if he can't remember stuff and Yay to more SB next chapter..I hope it gets 8 comments soon I really love this one

  2. Girl I've missed you shoot.
    I guess Drake is okay. But I know he not gonna stop drinking and he know it. So was the text message about the drinking or are was it about Nicki. I mean he can go tbh. She want Safaree anyway. Yup.. Confident as could be. Tuh. Bruising my Nicki up nshit.

  3. Lawwwwwwd Jesus less of a monster!!! I really can't wait to see this outcome. Smh I know SB is gonna go off!!! So she though with him as in not dating anymore?

  4. He has 2 put his drinking habits 2 a stop, before he does something even worse next time & I wonder what he meant by that text that he sent Nicki. *rubs chin as if I'm in deep thought*

  5. Little did either know of what?!? She needs to let him go and just get with Safaree.

  6. Drinking makes him horrible but he does remember everything when he see's SB, The Monster is mentally ill and jelly.

  7. Lol .. Your pretty close to 8 :)

  8. This is so intense! What's up with the ending? Does that mean more drama? I love it btw

  9. OMG why the fuck have i not read this yet! I started reading part 2 and i was like WTF then i went back and i realised i hadnt read it! Hope u didnt think i had read it and not commented! Anyway, i just want to confirm you have officially made Drake seem less "rapey" CRYING! haha, he seems genuinely sorry and i hope he stops the drinking and stuff. I dunno, it was wrong for Safaree to fill the wine bottle with random shit, that could've really effected her and he didnt even think about it....*sigs* he shouldnt have read her text either :*( *skips to next chap*

  10. WOW. He 'doesn't remember'? He just promised to quit drinking and look at him again, not 5 min later. Smh. & now he DOES remember. Hmm...

  11. OMG I love your story keep posting please