Tuesday, 11 June 2013

21. The Beginning of the End - Part One of the Final Chapter

*Okay, so this is supposed to be the last chapter but unfortunately I'm gonna have to split it into two cuz I'm so busy at the moment. Also someone asked me if I could make this chapter entirely focused on the birth :/ which I'm kinda scared about cuz I know absolutely nothing about childbrith and all that stuff so please excuse any mistakes lol anyway I hope this is okay!*

Watching her breathe steadily, he let go of her hand and pushed her hair back from her forehead. The end of the contraction nearing whilst she attempted to block out any distractions. They were both silent for a few minutes until he noticed she was fully recovered from the pain.

"It's nothin', Nic." He rubbed her arm. "They just doin' their job, ignore them."

"I can't. I'ont want them all in here." She looked up at him worriedly. "Could you pull the curtain 'round?"

"Y'know, they just gonna come open it again when they have to check on you?" He spoke whilst tugging the blue fabric on its rails, concealing them from the busy surroundings.

"I don't care."

He decided against answering her back and resumed his position in the chair by her side. He could tell she was feeling restless as she continuously twirled the hospital band around her wrist.

"Wayne said he was gon' try and be here later. He wanted to see you beforehand but he's held up at the studio."

"Just Wayne? Or everybody?" She shifted to get comfy as she let his conversation distract her racing mind.

"I'ont know, I guess we'll soon see." He smiled and sat back. "You want a drink or anythin'?"

"No." Whining quietly she kicked her foot out as her temper flared a little. "I just want things to get moving. Why aren't they doin' anythin'?"

"They're doin' the best they can, babe. I d-"

"No, not them." She waved him off irritably. "I meant the babies."

"Oh, well it's like I said. They prolly take after you."

He lay his hand on her bump before she scoffed and moved her attention back to the wristband. "We're gonna be parents in a few hours."

Her short and quiet sentence was laced with a much larger impact as he blinked slowly. She was right. A few more hours and they'd be proud new parents.

"You hear what I said, Safaree?"

"Yeah I heard you." He sat forward and grasped her hand. "We're gon' be the best parents."

"How do you know?"

"Whattya mean, how do I know?" He laughed. "Look at us."

"I'm bein' serious, SB. You really think we'll be okay?" Her voice got smaller as she spoke, the evident self-doubt making itself present.

"Course we will. Just look at the way you are with Cai. He worships you."

"That's different though. He's my brother, these will be my-" She paused to correct herself. "Our kids, we're fully responsible for them and their wellbeing."

"We're gon' take everythin' step by step, plus we got your family here for a while. We're fine." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and watched her smile uneasily before a nurse pulled the curtain back and entered. 

"Sorry, I don't mean to disturb you. My name is Kylie." She yanked the curtain shut behind her. "I'm just checking up on you guys." Sanitising her hands she moved over to Nicki as they both watched her. She was checking their hearbeats first.

"Is everythin' okay?" He inched closer in order to be involved.

"That's what I'm here to find out." She smiled but Nicki didn't feel any calmer as she moved the doppler around on her bump. "Baby A sounds like she's doin' just fine." Moving it a little she tried to place it higher up.


"Excuse me?" She looked back up at Nicki's flushed face.

"Baby A. He's a boy."

"Oh, my apologies." She bowed her head. "I always refer to unborn babies as girls." Picking up the second baby's heartbeat she stayed quiet for a while as she listened. Nicki's hand was still wrapped in Safaree's and he could feel how clammy it was. "Baby B's a little slower."


"I'm afraid so." She attached the doppler in a fixed position before scribbling down some notes on Nicki's clipboard.

"What do we do now then? We already had her layin' on both sides and it ain't do anythin'."

"Well, I think it's in Nicki's and the babies best interest for her to try the birthing pool. Did your midwife or doctor talk you through that option?" She leant on the bed railing and looked between them both.

"Yeah but he said he wanted to wait until my water broke." She rubbed her bump soothingly.

"Okay, did you bring anything to change into?"

"It's in my bag, Safaree." She pointed to the floor area by his chair and he immediately went to look for it.

"So, I'll let your partner help you change behind this curtain and I'll come back in a couple minutes when you're done." She smiled again and left with the notes after she'd removed the doppler equipment from Nicki's body.

With the two-piece bathing suit still in his grasp, Safaree made sure the curtain was properly shut before assisting Nicki getting out of the bed. He pulled her gown open at the back and let her step into the bottoms before pulling them up and proceeding to help her with the top half.

"You want your gown back on for the time bein'?"

"Yeah, I think we gotta walk to a different room." She turned her head as she spoke, he was still behind her fastening the gown when the young nurse came back in.

"Perfect. "She smiled and replaced the notes. "I'll go grab a wheelchair, unless you feel more comfortable walking?"

"I don't really mi-" She stopped suddenly when she felt a strange sensation followed by the feeling of  fluid on her legs slowly trickling down to the floor and her feet. Safaree hadn't noticed at first but soon caught on when he saw her look down and shift her feet as she moved away from the small puddle.

"What the?" Wrinkling his brow harshly he kept hold of her upper arms from behind.

"Oh my God, I-I think my water just broke."

Upon hearing the tremor in her voice, the nurse made her way around the bed quickly.

"Oh, just in time then." She laughed a little, trying to put Nicki's nerves at rest but it didn't really help. "Hey it's okay, don't worry about that. We'll get someone up here to clean it up."

Safaree could feel her shaking and started to worry. "How far do we have to walk?"

"To the birthing pool?" He nodded. "It's just down the corridor. You want me to grab a wheelchair?"

"No, I think I wanna walk." Nicki's voice interrupted them as she began swaying, feeling another contraction beginning.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Not even bothering to find out where the room was she started moving towards the curtain as the nurse quickly stepped ahead to lead the way.

"Safaree." She threw her arm behind herself to try and grab at him as the pain intensified some more. He held her hand firmly and stayed behind her to shield her open back from the people in the corridor.

"I'm right here."

Walking into the room already eased her mind, there was only three people in there. One of them being her midwife.

"So it's finally time?" She smiled and made her way over to where they were stood, only just noticing that Nicki was mid-contraction as she held on to Safaree tightly whilst she groaned. "The pool is ready, we'll just need to remove your gown and underwear if you're wearing any."

"I can do that." Safaree nodded and set the bag down as Nicki breathed through the last moments of the excruciating pain.

"Okay, once you're done I'll leave you to help her in and I'll call back 'round in about fifteen minutes." She ran the instructions by him and left them to it.

Across town, Drake was basking in the tranquility of his hotel room. No disturbances, no noise and no trouble. He knew he'd done wrong in the past but having her ignore his calls and texts the way she was had him wondering if there was something she wasn't telling him. Perhaps the babies were his and she was too afraid to admit to it? For the first time in months his mind was completely clear. Honestly, he wasn't really sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing at this point but being sober had allowed his mind to think adequately and make judgements more rationally than before. He had the right to know whether she was carrying his children and he was going to find out. Rubbing his hands together he sat forward in his chair once his phone started ringing. Every time it sang out he'd hoped that maybe it was her returning his calls but it never was. It was that exact same story again when he answered waiting to hear her soft words. Instead he was greeted with another female voice. The room still silent as he listened intently to what she was saying.

"What, like, right now?" He sat his water down quickly and focused all of his attention on the phone conversation he was now deeply engaged in. He couldn't believe his ears. Nicki was in labor right now and he wasn't even informed. It was like she'd completely cut him out of the picture, he understood they could be SB's babies as well but there was an equal chance they were his and he had rights too. "A'ight, I'm headin' over there now. Thanks, Kylie." He hung up after hearing the room and floor number before grabbing his keys and heading out.


As soon as her gown and bottoms were removed, Safaree had cautiously helped her into the pool and now he was crouched down to lean on the side closest to her. There was still no improvement with the baby girl's heart rate but the calmer and quieter surroundings had allowed her nerves and anxiety to simmer. Which, had turned out to be more than beneficial when the labor process picked up speed.

"Okay, he sounds pretty good to me." She smiled. "You ready to meet your baby boy?" Nicki nodded exhaustedly as her midwife removed the aqua doppler from under the water on her stomach. She'd been having fifteen minute check ups for the past two hours and finally everything was starting to move along. "Well, you're almost fully dilated so I'll get everything ready for the arrival and we can start pushing on your next contraction." She gave her arm a supportive rub and moved back over to the side of the room.

"You're doin' so great, Nic."

"I don't feel like I am." She breathed out steadily and brought her arms up to rest on the side of the pool. "Did you tell everyone they can go home? I'ont want them sat 'round waitin' for hours. Cai's prolly bored as hell out there."

"Your brother took'm him home and came back. Left him with the neighbour."

"Oh." She nodded before lifting herself lightly, her face twisting with pain. "Ugh, fuck. It hurts so bad." Her eyes were shut tight whilst she leant forward, getting closer to Safaree.

The midwife had heard her start groaning from across the room and made her way over swiftly. At this point Safaree had no idea what to do. He had hold of one of her hands as her other one had disappeared back under the water but she was moaning louder than ever this time. He felt so helpless and the vice-like grip she had on his hand was telling just how much pain she was in.

"Talk to her, Safaree." The midwife spoke over her pain-filled moans as he looked back at her worriedly. Her head was tucked down and her face still screwed up but she'd changed her groans to fast and heavy breathing.

"I can't do it." Shaking her head defeatedly she connected eyes with him. "Please, Safaree. I can't do it." She blinked hard, causing the tears to fall.

"Yes you can, you're almost there." He got closer to the side of the pool and pressed his forehead gently against hers. She was breathing so fast. "I know you can do this."

"He's right, Nicki. You're almost there, he's already crowining. Just a few more pushes and you're done."

"But then I have to do it all over again!" She found enough energy within herself to yell out as she grew even more frustrated. After placing the aqua doppler back on her bump, the midwife took note of their heartbeats again before speaking up. At that moment Safaree knew something was wrong.

"Just keep her as calm as you can, I need to go make a call."

He watched her leave and turned his attention back to his struggling loved one. "Nicki, you need to calm down."

"Calm down? How the fuck am I supposed to calm down?!" She grimaced before moving her attention to the other side of the room. "What's Stacey doing?"

"She's just makin' a call and then she's comin' straight back."

"A call?" She asked breathlessly. "Who's she callin'?"

"I don't know, now could you please look at me?" He held her arms firmly, pulling her back to the moment. "You're freakin' yourself out. Just breathe."

It took her a minute but she did as he said and focused only on her breathing. She had no idea how exactly she was supposed to do this twice on the run. She felt exhausted already and she hadn't even had the first baby yet. After only a couple of minutes Stacey returned again, just in time for the next contraction.

Safaree hadn't thought things could get any scarier but seeing Stacey reach her hand into the water as Nicki screamed made his heart beat twice as fast. Even more so when he saw what looked like a head.

"There you go, the hard part's done." She talked loudly to overpower Nicki's mewls. "You wanna feel his head, Nicki?"

"No no no." Quickly dismissing her question she didn't look up and continued to pant through the pain, readying herself for the next and hopefully the last contraction for this twin.

"That's okay, you don't have to. You just keep breathing and let him turn around."

"I am." She snapped back irritably, trying to time her breathing with the soft strokes of Safaree's fingers on her hand.

"How 'bout you, Safaree? Do you want to feel?" She smiled at how happy he looked. "Here just reach your hand under her body." Pulling at his free hand she guided it under Nicki's body in the water and to the baby's head.

He grinned widely as the shock wore off. "Yo, Nic, I'm touchin' our son's head right now." 

"Yeah me too." Growling back at him she shifted on her knees as she felt the next contraction coming. He couldn't have pulled his hand out any faster in fear of her hitting him. They were face to face and she looked knackered. The only thing she was glad of at this point was that she as on her hands and knees. She couldn't even imagine how it would be to be laying on her back and working against gravity. 

The last contraction felt like the fastest. As soon as she looked up to take a breath that was it. It was already over. Stacey controlled the rest and moved their baby through her legs and under her body as she reached down to pull him out of the water.

"Oh my God, Safaree, look." Not even bothering to hold the tears back anymore she sat back on her legs lightly and held him up close to herself. "I can't believe he's finally here."

"He's so small." Reaching his hand out unsurely he rubbed the baby's cheek and jumped when he started spluttering.

"It's okay, he's just comin' 'round." Stacey smiled at him. "I'll let you have a few moments and then we'll clamp the cord and get ready for your baby girl." Keeping a close eye on Nicki and the baby she stood up and started sorting through the tools she needed.

"You did so amazing, Nic." He kissed her head and stroked their baby's hair softly.

"I'm sorry I kept yellin' at you." She cried. "I didn't mean anythin' I said."

"I know you didn't." He laughed. "That's what I'm here for. You yell whatever you want at me if it makes you feel better."

"You better get ready for the next one then." She smiled, her emotions all over the place as she continued sobbing.

"You wanna cut the cord, Safaree?"

He looked at Nicki for permission. "Can I?" She nodded tiredly and watched him. He looked so excited.

He felt so proud as he followed Stacey's instructions, cutting the cord of his first-born. Smiling at Nicki again he leant forward and grazed her lips with his. "I'm so proud of you." Before she got chance to say anything back, Kyle politely interrupted them.

"We're just gon' take the lil' man now and check him over properly, okay?" Nodding unsurely, Nicki handed over the baby and remained in the water as Stacey stepped in to check the second baby's heartbeat.

"One down, one more to go." She pressed into her stomach some more and waited a few seconds. She looked worried. "Actually, can you just step out of the pool for a minute?"

"You want me to get out?" She asked nervously.

"Only for a minute, I just want to check you over more thoroughly." Her words seemed to be uttered calmly but the way she looked over at Kylie and nodded made her fearful. Even more so when Kylie immediately stopped what she was doing to grab the phone.


*So it's suuuuuuuuper corny I know lol but I don't know much about babies and hospitals and all that so..yeah! Part two is the actual ending though. Forreal. Anywho, I hope this was alright :/ And I apologise for any typos.*

Wednesday, 5 June 2013


So as most of you know, I'm ending all of my Onikafaree fics within the next few weeks. However, I've had a couple people asking if I could maybe keep one going. I'm not sure if you all feel the same way but if there is one you might like to keep reading, which one would it be? OR I could do someone else's suggestion which was a continuation of Forever Young? Idk. :) Anywho it's up to you guys, thanks for reading.


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

20. Labor of Love - Full Chapter

*I know I updated Catch Me last night but I already had most of this typed up, so I'm posting again :) I hope it's alrightttt, only one more chapter :)*

As soon as she heard Nicki was in labor she felt awful about the way she behaved the night before. There was no need to instigate a personal attack on her for something she couldn't help. Yet, once again she'd lost her temper and aimed all her hurt and anger towards her friend. So far the evening had been a little uncomfortable to say the least. If it weren't for everyone else hogging Nicki's attention she feared what the atmosphere would be like. Safaree had helped her upstairs a while ago since she started snoozing on the couch.

"SB? Is it okay if I head up and see her for a bit? I'll be five minutes, promise." The desperation was written all over her face not to mention patterning her voice.

"Sure, just don't turn it into a screamin' match. She doesn't need that right now." He lowered his eyes, causing her to nod sheepishly in return before she moved up the stairway. The walk to her room was nerve-wracking. She just prayed Nicki would hear and accept her sincere apology.

On the other side of the door Nicki was sitting upright against the headboard. She knew if the person she could hear in the hallway was Safaree then she'd be in trouble. She was supposed to be resting but here she was sifting through emails on her laptop. She wanted to be on top of everything so her full concentration could be on the twins and life after they were born. Of course she knew it wasn't going to be that simple anyway. As her thoughts grew she folded her lips and continued to type up a reply at great speed before a knock on the door halted her. It obviously wasn't SB. He didn't know the meaning of knocking on doors.

"You can come in."

"Hey." The small voice became more distinct when she shut the door, letting silence fall upon them. Nothing was said for a moment or two, making Lauren feel apprehensive.

"You cooled down a little?"

"That's actually why I came up here." She played with the knitted sleeves of her jumper as she looked down. "I wanted to apologize, I never meant for things to escalate that far. I'm sorry." The tremor in her voice obviously pulled at Nicki's hormonal heart strings. She pushed her laptop to the side and stretched her arms out with a small smile.

"C'mere." Obliging without question Lauren moved over to the side of the bed and climbed on tearfully, feeling Nicki's arms wrap around her as soon as she settled on top of the sheets. "I have no idea how hard this must be for you." She sighed and rested her head sweetly on Lauren's before carrying on with her little speech. "But you should know we're all here for you. Not to be yelled at or treated badly though, Lauren." Side-eyeing her friend she released her from the loving embrace. "Why didn't you tell any of us sooner?"

"There was never a right time. I felt like I couldn't bring down everyone's excitement 'bout you and the babies and I just...I don't know." She sniffled and wiped away her tears before trying to smile. It was clear to Nicki how hard this was for her.

"You don't need to feel like that." Rubbing her hand gently she tugged the sheets up over herself a little more with her free hand.  "But you're okay though, right?" The worried look on her face was endearing.

"I'm fine, really. I should be askin' you anyway!" Laughing a little she placed her hand on the large looking mound under the sheets. "It's really time huh?"

"Yeah, I can't believe they're gonna be here soon." She shook her head in disbelief. "I'm so scared, Lauren."


"Yeah, you ever seen birth videos? They're nothin' short of freaking horror movies. I swear!"

"You should document the birth, could you imagine your fans?"

"Nobody is gettin' in there with a camera, I am not havin' myself exposed like that. GMA already seen enough thank you." She smirked as Lauren shook her head.

"So you're really not havin' anyone film? Not even one of us?"

"Well I was kinda hopin' it was just gon' be me and Faree in the delivery room. It'll be less daunting."

"Yeah I guess I wouldn't like all them people up in my business like that." She grimaced at the thought of it before licking her lips. "Anyway, SB's prolly down there timing me. You're s'posed to be sleepin'." She stood up and smiled back at her. "You want anythin' bringin' up?"

"I want Safaree up here with me. Could you send him up?"

"Sure, but before I leave you should hide that laptop and lay down or else he's gon' freak." She laughed and pulled the door closed a little behind her. Nicki did as Lauren suggested and made out she'd been sleeping before she was disturbed by her friend's apologetic gesture.

On his way back up the stairs he could feel the nerves eating at him but he had no idea why though. He just had that same overwhelming feeling of inadequacy within himself. What if he wasn't going to be able to do all he could for her? It continued to plague his thoughts as he entered the dimly lit room and shut the door behind him. She looked so peaceful just sleeping on her side. How was she not freaking out like he was? Seeing her hurt was something he hated and he was about to endure hours of it, let alone feel it and he was jittering with fear.


"I'm here, just give me a minute."

"Has everybody gone?"

"Yeah, 'cept your Mom, Dad and brothers." He talked quietly as he removed his clothes before brushing his teeth and climbing into the bed.

"What's up with you?" She whispered tiredly and quickly attached herself to him, laying as close to his body as her bump would allow.

"Nothin', I just been thinkin' about these next few days."

"What about them?" Her words were warped by her yawn but he caught what she said.

"Y'know? Just you and the babies, I just want everythin' to go smoothly."

"Me too."

"Eveythin'll be fine though."

"You think so?"

"I know so, now go to sleep." He kissed her head, not feeling her move again until he heard her light breathing as she slept.

As soon as he awoke the next morning he'd half expected it to be 3am with Nicki screaming next to him. It was, in fact, quite the opposite. Sitting up slowly he squinted as soon as the daylight blinded him.

"Damn." He shielded his eyes for a second. "Time is it, Nic?"

"Uhm, ten. Why?"

"Has anything happened?"

"Yeah. I had the babies already. You missed everything."

"Ha-ha, very funny." He smirked at her sarcasm and turned to look at her. "What you eatin'? And where's mine?"

"Waffles and you was still sleepin'. You snooze you lose, Mister." She shrugged and continued to feed herself before he snatched the breakfast food from her hand.

"Too right." Scoffing his face he could but only smile at how angry she looked. "Anyhow, where's everybody at?"

"Downstairs. Lauren brought this up for me."

"Lauren? I thought she went home?"

"She wanted to be here." She looked at him as he thought.

"Oh yeah, how'd that go last night? Y'all kiss and make up?"

"We both apologised, yes."

"Good, nobody's got time for that kind of drama right now." He wiped the syrup from her lip before moving his hand down to her bump, still under the bed sheet. "'Specially not my babies."

"They got time for anything. They're supposed to be on their way right now and they're just takin' their sweet ass time."

"Definitely somethin' they get off of you then."

"Get away from me." She chuckled and pushed the covers back. "I'mma go take a bath now, I'ont want any last minute runnin' around."

"A'ight, you need anythin'?"

"Nope, we're good thanks." She flashed him a smile before closing herself in the bathroom. Truthfully she was feeling more optimistic and positive than she had in a long time. That didn't mean she'd still feel that way when she transgressed into the next stage of labor though. She just prayed it would be a complication-free experience.

She didn't soak for long before she helped herself out and resumed her position on the bed. Dressed in only her underwear and a pair of track pants.

"That shit's not funny, Nicki." His face remained surly as she laughed loudly. Pretending to have contractions was the way in which she'd decided to relieve her boredom, although quite cruel it was pretty funny to see Safaree's face in a state of pure shock.

"I'm sorry. You shoulda seen your face though!"

"Yeah? Well, we'll see who's laughin' when it really is time and nobody believes you."

"You'd laugh?" She sat forward and frowned.

"You woulda brought it on yourself if I did." He moved over and sat down on the bed next to her. "Of course I wouldn't laugh though. This is serious stuff."

"I know." She sighed. "I can't stop thinking about how things are gonna go."

"Don't be worried, we got this." He held her hand up to his lips and kissed it delicately. "Put some clothes on, your Mom said she was on her way up." He stood up and tossed a jumper to her just as Mama Carol knocked lightly on the door. Safaree let her in once Nicki was clothed.

"Any movement, Nika?" Her face looked hopeful.

"Nope, nothing. I'm still fat and uncomfortable." Carol smiled at the pout on her daughter's face.

"It'll happen eventually. Patience is a virtue, Onika."

"I know, I just hate feeling all anxious and having to wait around like this. I can't settle." She moved her hands around frantically and looked back to Safaree's sympathetic face. He really was sticking by her side like he promised. Months ago she never would have imagined she'd be in this situation. At least not with Safaree anyway.

"You heard what the doctor said though, anywhere between twelve and twenty-four hours." She just nodded as he once again moved over to the bed. "Maybe you should get some more sleep whilst you can?"

"I'm not sleepy, Safaree."


"Always. What do we have?"

"I'll bring you something up." He leant down and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. He knew exactly how she felt. The same anxious feeling was eating at him too, he was just trying not to show it.

"How are things with you two?" Carol sat next to her daughter and let her eyes roam her face. She felt as though she'd lost touch with her over the last few months. Things weren't the same between them.

"Things're going slow but that's a good thing. I'ont wanna rush right into things with him this time, y'know?"

"I always knew you two would end up together. I just can't believe neither of you could see that." She laughed a little, pulling a smile out of Nicki.

"You really knew, all those years ago?"

"Of course I did." Chortling sweetly she watched as Nicki placed her hands on her bump, waiting to hear the story progress. "You two were more or less joined at the hip when you were younger.

"How did you know though?" The inquisitive tone of her voice was endearing.

"Just the way he was and still is with you. He knows you more than you know yourself, Onika. Even more than I know you, on another level of course. Don't let go of him, will you?"

"I don't plan to."


"Seriously? Still nothing?" Cai's face was scrunched up to the max as he glanced at his watch. "It's almost 4pm, how long is this s'posed to go on for?"

"I'on know, I'm gonna call her doctor now." Safaree folded his lips and rejoined everyone in the living room. Nothing was happening with Nicki at all. She'd had a mild cramping sensation when he took her food up to her but she insisted it was hunger-related and soon fell to sleep once she was done feasting.

"She's sleepin' off her lunch."

"Maybe we should just take her in and say her contractions have started?" Carol looked over at him nervously.

"I'mma take some water up in a minute, see what she wants to do."

"If she's being stubborn-"

"When isn't she?" SB laughed before returning his serious stance. "I'll talk some sense into her if she is bein' stubborn. Don't worry." Everyone nodded and let him get back to Nicki with the water.

"I wanted it in a glass. With ice." She opened her eyes after talking as he set the bottle on her night stand. The room was dimly lit, enough to see but not enough to keep her awake.

"Tough. You got a bottle, so you can just deal." Laying down behind her, he positioned his arm over her middle and gently rubbed her bump in small circles. "You okay?"

"Mmm. I'm scared."

"Don't be. I'mma be there and everythin'll be fine."

"But it might not be though. What if somethin' bad happens?"


"I'm being serious, Safaree."

"And so am I. Stop thinkin' like that."

"How can I?" She sniffled and linked her fingers with his as they still lay over her bump. "I can't do this."

"Onika." He spoke more sternly after hearing her getting worked up. "I know you can do this." She stopped talking for a few seconds as she attempted to calm herself. The doctor's words echoing through her mind whilst she breathed in and out slowly. That was one of the main things worrying Safaree. What if she had another anxiety attack? And during the delivery too. He'd read up on the subject and it didn't sound good.

"I need the bathroom." Wiping at her damp face she sat up slowly and allowed him to aid her to the door.

"Leave it open though."

She did as he asked and left it ajar in case anything happened. Honestly, he was freaking out too. He had no idea how he was going to keep calm seeing her in such a state.


"What is it?" He burst through the door in a panic, only to find her still sat on the toilet.

"Could you pass me a roll of toilet paper?"

"Oh," He smiled slightly. "Sure." He felt as though every time she called it would be a contraction but things were moving at snail speed.

After helping her back on to the bed he grabbed the TV remote and settled next to her.

"This gon' bother you?"

"No, just keep it on low." She readjusted her pillow so that she could see the screen, trying to distract her mind. The longer she lay waiting the more worked up and anxious she was becoming. Feeling Safaree's hand resting on her bump again made her relax some more as her eyes finally grew heavier.

He soon followed, preparing himself for the sleepless hours to come but he'd only just drifted into a dream when he was awoken with a start.

"You sleep like a fucking log!"

"What?" He sat up and squinted in her direction, immediately alarmed by her distressed body language and loud yell. Her face said it all.

"Somethin's happening."

"You mean it's time?"

"I don't know." She exhaled slowly and tried to lift herself off of the bed. "Where's the bag at?"

"It's a'ight, I'll do all that in a minute just sit still for a while."

She was about to start arguing but as soon as she felt his hand holding hers supportively she decided to ride out the pain plaguing her body. Trying only to focus on what he was saying to her through the contraction.

"Okay, it's stopped." Attempting to breathe more calmly she looked at him worriedly, only to feel a little more at ease seeing how calm he was. He was bricking it on the inside but he had to be her support through this. And he would be, every step of the way.

Her contractions were few and far apart, making their trip to the hospital a lot less stressful than it could have been. Thankfully SB had Nicki's family as well as their friends to rally around and help them. That wasn't the case now though as they all sat patiently in the family waiting area. Safaree's sole focus was on trying to keep Nicki as calm as he could.

"They couldn't have picked a more decent hour to arrive?" Sitting by her bedside he kept hold of her hand as he spoke.

"I guess not." She smiled weakly and ran her other hand through her hair as she lay back against the enormous pillows. The only thing giving her any sort of comfort was the sound of the doppler ultrasound allowing her to hear the babies heartbeats and Safaree's hand holding hers as securely as he could. "Do you think she's gonna be okay?" Her bottom lip quivered whilst she stared at him, waiting for his reassurance.

"She's gon' be fine, 'cause she's a fighter." He kissed her hand and placed his on the skin showing on her bump. "See, we can hear her." He pointed at the doppler. Trying to keep her positive was difficult when he was worried half to death in his mind. Their baby girl's heartbeat was getting slower and slower as the contractions progressed, even Dr Hall had come to check on her and seemed worried.

"Could you do me a favour?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Can you go find my Mom and tell her everythin's okay?"

He hesitated for a moment but seeing her pleading eyes he couldn't refuse. "Sure, but I'm comin' straight back though."

"Thank you."


"Any news Safaree?" Mama Carol's voice sounded as though it was full of sleep and quite honestly he couldn't blame her. They'd been sat in the hospital for hours now and no change had occurred.

"No, nothin'. I just thought I'd come see how you were all holdin' up." He remained in the doorway of the family waiting room, he wanted to stay with Nicki but she kept asking how everyone else was.

"We're fine, it should be us asking about her." She paused and ran her palm of Caiah's head as he slept on her lap. "How is she doing?"

"You know what she's like." He smirked momentarily before his solemn stance returned. He didn't know whether to tell them or just see how things panned out first. "Uhm, yeah she's good. Tired and really, really grumpy but good." It didn't matter what he said though, everyone in the room could see right through his lies.

"Tell me the truth, Safaree." Not a question but a statement. She always got him with that tone and the face she gave him. Feeling everyone's worried eyes landing on him he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"We don't know for sure yet but the baby girl's heartbeat is droppin' like, a lot." His folded lips emphasised how much he was trying to fight his own emotions, especially seeing Lauren and Candi tear up a little.

"So what's gonna happen?"

"I'm not sure 'cause she keeps havin' like, mini panic attacks. They're afraid that if they go ahead with the c-section she'll just get worse." There was a moment of silence before Carol spoke again.

"Has she started pushing yet?"

"No. Not even close to that yet, they tried layin' her on her side but it made her worse so they're tryin' the other side now and if that don't work she's gettin' in the pool."

"And then the c-secton if that fails?"

"Yeah." He sighed and nodded after speaking but before anyone could ask him anything else a young nurse interrupted their conversation.

"Mr Samuels we need you back in here, please?" The urgency in her tone was pretty clear and he followed without hesitation.

As soon as he re-entered the room it seemed as though the amount of people present had doubled for some reason.

"What's happened?"

"Well, nothing yet." She paused. "She's just asking for you, that's all." Smiling up at him she pulled the curtain back and let him walk ahead first, his mind was quickly put at ease hearing those words. "We're getting the birthing pool ready though but we'll let you know once it's done."

"Thanks." He nodded gratefully and resumed his position by Nicki's bedside. "You hear that?" There was no reply, her eyes roaming the room nervously. "Nicki?"

"Why is there so many people in here?"

"I don't know, it's nothin' for you to worry about though." Observing just how visibly bothered she was he leant over the bed railing. "It's fine." Once again there was no response, instead she grimaced followed by a groan.


"Mhmm." Pushing her brows together harshly she folded her lips, humming through the pain as she grasped his hand. It felt different this time, she felt like her mind was completely preoccupied. She couldn't block out the people around her as the anxiety kicked in.


*I hope this was okay :/ I know absolutely nothingggg about babies or birth or hospitals so, there will be mistakes in there. My bad. lol but thanks again to those who commented on the previous chapter. I know I said this would be the last chapter but the post after this one will be the last :)*

Thursday, 31 January 2013

19. Labor of Love *Sneak Peek*

Just a lil' sneak peek of a section of the next chapter, which could also be the last chapter so it'll probably be longer than usual.


"Any news Safaree?" Mama Carol's voice sounded as though it was full of sleep and quite honestly he couldn't blame her. They'd been sat in the hospital for hours now and no change had occurred.

"No, nothin'. I just thought I'd come see how you were all holdin' up." He remained in the doorway of the family waiting room, he wanted to stay with Nicki but she kept asking how everyone else was.

"We're fine, it should be us asking about her." She paused and ran her palm of Caiah's head as he slept on her lap. "How is she doing?"

"You know what she's like." He smirked momentarily before his solemn stance returned. He didn't know whether to tell them or just see how things panned out first. "Uhm, yeah she's good. Tired and really, really grumpy but good." It didn't matter what he said though, everyone in the room could see right through his lies.

"Tell me the truth, Safaree." Not a question but a statement. She always got him with that tone and the face she gave him. Feeling everyone's worried eyes landing on him he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"We don't know for sure yet but the baby girl's heartbeat is droppin' like, a lot." His folded lips emphasised how much he was trying to fight his own emotions, especially seeing Lauren and Candi tear up a little.

"So what's gonna happen?"

"I'm not sure 'cause she keeps havin' like, mini panic attacks. They're afraid that if they go ahead with the c-section she'll just get worse." There was a moment of silence before Carol spoke again.

"Has she started pushing yet?"

"No. Not even close to that yet, they tried layin' her on her side but it made her worse so they're tryin' the other side now and if that don't work she's gettin' in the pool."

"And then the c-secton if that fails?"

"Yeah." He sighed and nodded after speaking but before anyone could ask him anything else a young nurse interrupted their conversation.

"Mr Samuels we need you back in here, please?" The urgency in her tone was pretty clear and he followed without hesitation.


Wednesday, 2 January 2013

18. When The Time Is Right

*Thanku for all the previous comments!*

Drumming her long fingernails along the side of the car door, Nicki waited impatiently for Safaree. By the look on his face as he threw his hat on and snatched the door open he was livid. She figured it would be smart to keep her mouth shut right about now and continued looking out of the window as he pulled out on to the road.

"You couldn't just sit and ignore her could you? You had to go an' make some big, dramatic ass exit and storm outta there."

"Excuse me?!" She whipped her head around suddenly. "How the hell are you abouta start yellin' at me?! I ain't do shit SB! Lauren's the one who started makin' bitchy ass comments! Fuck outta here sayin' shit like that!" Shaking her head she turned stroppily to stare out of her window again, feeling the tears of anger threatening to fall.

"Look, I ain't hear what she said but you shoulda just let it slide. Not dragged the both of us away like that. I was havin' fun and now I gotta go home and stay in with-" He stopped himself quickly before he got the last of his sentence out. Focusing back on the road he could feel her teary eyes burning into the side of his face.

"Go on. Stay in and what Safaree?" She sniffled and swiftly swiped at the tear tickling her cheek. "Stay home and spend the rest of the night with me? Is that what you was gon' say?" Her voice was full of hurt, instantly making him feel bad.

"No, it's not that it's just..." He paused for a moment or two. "Can't you see, Nic we've been in the house forever. I'm abouta lose my goddam mind if I spend another second locked in there, it's messin' us up! We always up under each other."

"So you're sayin' you wanna spend time apart from me?"

"No. I never said that and you know that ain't what I'm gettin' at." He let his words process through her mind before speaking again. "I just think that bein' like this ain't healthy and I know it definitely ain't good for the babies for you to be gettin' all worked up like you are now. So could you please stop cryin', I hate seein' you like this." He used his free hand and placed it under her chin, making her look up. He could only look back at her intermittently since he was driving. He wrapped his hand around hers as he carried on driving with one hand, thankful that with her hormones all over the place their argument hadn't escalated to the level it usually would have. Although they'd done the short and easy version of one of their fights and made up at the end she continued to stare out of the window, the tears still trickling down her cheeks.

As soon as they made it into the house Nicki went and changed into something more comfortable whilst SB set the alarm system. She had no idea what was wrong with her right now, she desperately wanted to curse out the fact that she was pregnant but then thoughts of Lauren would pop into her head. She should feel thankful that she can even have babies, just as she lay her hand on her bump that precious heart-warming feeling washed over her as she felt them move. Gently stroking the fabric of her v-neck shirt over them she smiled to herself.

"Mommy can't wait 'til you both get here."

"Neither can Daddy." She jumped slightly feeling his arms loop through hers and rest on her stomach as he stood behind her. Basking in the silence and enjoying their moment until Safaree spoke again. "I love you Nicki, you know that right?" With a momentary falter, she answered.

"I love you too."

"You didn't answer me though. I asked if you knew that I loved you." He waited silently for a response but he didn't get one causing him to move around to the front of her. "Nic?"

"I heard you SB." She looked down and pulled away as she climbed on to the bed cautiously.

"Then why you not answerin'?"

"'Cause I dont know the answer." Her eyes followed his frame as he moved to sit on the bed too. "I know that you're sayin' it but I'ont know if I believe it." She trailed off and looked down at her bump in attempt to avoid his shocked expression.

"Nicki, how the hell could you even question that? I always loved you and I always will. Nothin' is ever gon' change that." He pulled her into his arms and held on to her with just the right amount of pressure. Showing his affection without crushing her and their unborn babies.


"I promise."

As if words weren't enough he went ahead and showed her how much he loved her that night, giving her endless hours of pleasure until the early hours were upon them. Understandably she was knocked out as she slept heavily next to him. They hadn't been together in that sense since before he left to go live in Florida and even with her eight month bump in the way, they still managed to make it possible. Laying back down he wrapped his arms around her again and followed her to sleep, hoping that she was out of her emotional rut by the morning.


The next morning he turned over, reaching out for only to feel the space where she should have been laying. He frowned before relaxing his face again, figuring she was just not sleepy and up feeding herself something she shouldn't be. He was about to allow his eyes to close again but hearing bottles tumble in the bathroom he sat up.

"Nicki?" The covers were thrown off of him before he walked over to the slightly ajar door. "Nic? What're you-" He rushed over to her within seconds of seeing her. She was sat, pain-faced on the side of the large bath-tub. Both her hands resting on her bump let him know it was obviously something baby related. "What happened?!" He was knelt at her level immediately, running his hand along the sides of her thighs.

"I don't know, it just started hurting when I woke up!" She squeezed her eyes shut at the pain, trying to hold back from crying.

"Where at? You think it's the babies?" He was trying to read her expression but she kept hanging her head low.

"I don't know."

"Well, how long you been up?"

"I don't know."

"D'you think you can you move?"

"I don't know Safaree!" He flinched a little at the anger and pain in her yell before jumping into action.

"Aight, stay here I'm gonna go grab your bag. We're goin' to the hospital." He kissed her forehead before moving swiftly back to their room, picking up her hospital bag before reaching for his phone. Remembering she was still in her pyjamas he quickly grabbed some sweats and top for her to wear. Entering the bathroom again he saw her stood tiredly only centimetres from where he was knelt before.

"It's stopped now." She looked up at him with clothes in each hand along with a bag.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She nodded and spoke at the same time as he helped her back through to the bedroom.

"Still, put these on. I'm takin' you to hospital."

"No I'm fine now, really it was pr-"

"Nicki. Just put them on, whatever it was that just happened doesn't sound right. You're goin' to the hospital, even if I have to wrestle you into the car." His gaze looked dead serious as she she took the clothes from his hands.

The drive there was silent during the moments when he wasn't cursing out the early morning work traffic. He managed to steal a glance at Nicki every so often, her face was pale as she stared out of the window whilst rubbing her bump soothingly. Feeling his hand touch hers she flinched slightly before looking at him.


"Yeah?" The softness of her voice was enough to make him stare at her worriedly.

"Do you think somethin's wrong? With the babies I mean?" She was playing with his hand nervously before making him put his hand over her bump, placing hers over the top with their fingers intertwined.

"No, everythin's gon' fine. I promise." He pulled their hands up to kiss hers before putting them back on her stomach as they pulled into the hospital parking lot. She seemed perfectly fine now but Safaree was risking nothing. Helping her out of the car he kept hold of her hand as they walked in. Luckily she'd picked up a pair of shades and a hoodie to conceal herself before being led to a private room on the maternity ward.

"A doctor'll be thought to see you soon." The young male nurse smiled extra-hard before leaving again. He had already guessed who it was.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanna know what's wrong so we can leave already." Her loud sigh made him move over to her as she sat perched on the edge of the bed.

"It's probably nothin', just a twinge. Stop worryin'."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right." He looked down at her, immediately making her smile.

"You're so cocky." He was about to respond when the doctor entered, their head immediately turned in his direction.

"Sorry to keep you both waitin' I had some things to sort out upstairs." He smiled warmly before laying the file of notes on the food tray attached to the bed and slipping some gloves on. "So what's brought you here?" He asked casually and flicked through her notes as he listened.

"Well, I woke up this mornin' with a real sharp pain across my front that I've never felt before." She shifted uncomfortably and looked back up at Safaree, only to feel her hand become enclosed in his securely.

"Okay, well that doesn't sound too nice does it? You wanna lay back for me so I can take a look?"

"Sure." Safaree kept hold of her hand as she lay on the bed, lifting her clothes up so Dr Hall had the access he needed. His hands weren't as cold as she had anticipated and could only thankful about that.

"Alright, and how far along are you again?"

"Almost thirty-four weeks." She kept her eyes on his hands before he removed them and grabbed the ultrasound.

"I'm just going to take a closer look, okay?" Nodding her head she gasped at the coolness of the gel before he placed the equipment on to her skin. Soon enough the image was displayed on the screen and the sounds of their heartbeats could be heard. A sound they both loved to hear. "Well it all looks good to me, their heartbeats are fine." He looked at the screen intently before pushing the machine away and wiping the gel from her stomach.

"What's wrong with her then?" Safaree's voice was full of concern thinking back to the amount of pain visible on her face as she sat in their bathroom.

"I can't really say, it could've just been a twinge or a strong kick." He looked back at Nicki. "You only had the one pain? No more followed?"

"No, just the one."

"Have you been doing anything out of the ordinary in the last couple of hours? Any strenuous exercise? Heavy-lifting?" She shook he head no after each one before he spoke the last of his sentence. "Sexual intercourse?" Her eyes immediately met Safaree's as she blushed a little. That answered his question as he moved to grab a hospital gown. "Here, I'll leave room whilst you change. I want to keep you in for a little longer just to be sure. Get one of the nurses to give me a shout once you're dressed." He smiled again and let Safaree take the gown as they watched him leave.

"Oh my God Safaree. What if somethin' bad happens 'cause we had sex?" The look on her face was one of absolute worry as her hands automatically moved up to her face.

"Stop it Nicki. I'm sure it's nothin', even Dr Hall doesn't seem worried. It'll be fine. Here, lemme help you put this on." He left his stuff on the chair and helped her to undress before slipping the gown on to her, smirking when she turned around and gave him a view of the slit up the back as she climbed carefully back on to the bed. She sat, consumed with anxiety whilst Safaree told one of the nurses they were ready for Dr Hall to come back. They both returned moments later.

"Alright, we're all gowned up. Perfect." He reached over for some more gloves after sanitising and looked back at her. "Could you just lift your knees up? I need to check your cervix." She did as he asked only for him to look up at her humorously. "But first I'mma need for you to take your underwear of Ms Maraj."

"Oh right, yeah." She shook her head embarrassedly before asking SB for help. She hated this part the most.

"Okay, you won't feel any pain as such just a little discomfort." His reassuring smile made her relax a little whilst Safaree held her hand. He was right, the same feeling of discomfort she felt every time soon washed over her as he inserted his fingers whilst she wrinkled her brow irritably. Safaree's stance relaxed as soon as he removed his hand, although he was a doctor and this was his job it still wasn't exactly what every guy wanted to be watching. "You're only three centimetres dilated, so I'll let you get dressed and go home for now, but as soon as you feel any pain come straight back.." He removed his gloves and motioned for her to lay her legs flat again. Both of their faces displayed the same expression. Shock.

"Woah, wait, you mean she's actually in labor?"

"Well, yes. Probably brought on by last nights events I imagine." He smiled at Nicki looking away before fixing his gaze back on a worried Safaree. "Look, she's only three centimetres dilated and her water still hasn't broken yet. It could be another twelve to twenty-four hours before anything happens."

"So you're sending her home? Just like that?"

"Mr Samuels, I understand how scary this all sounds but it'll benefit Nicki more for her to be at home resting before she returns when it really is time."


"I can't believe they just sent you home!"

"Mom, it's fine. They said it could be a whole day before anthin' actually happens." She smiled and grasped her Mother's hand lovingly. "We just have to make sure we get there before the babies decide to arrive." Hearing her laugh made both Mama Carol and Safaree smile. He was glad he already arranged for her family to be flown out when he called them earlier on at the hospital. It was now early evening and he was slightly regretting his decision. Nicki was supposed to be resting but with everyone having fun downstairs she'd somehow managed to talk him into letting her sit with everybody.

"What'd you do to her?"

"What?" SB scrunched his face up at Terrence's weird question.

"To make her pop them babies out before they even ripe."

"Hey, I ain''t do shit. It's just time, that's all."

"Yeah, I heard her talkin' to Joyce before. Somethin' 'bout semen-"

"Yeah okay!" He interrupted his sentence before he could go any further. Dr Hall had explained that the adult activity they took part in the night before had in fact caused Nicki to start dilating early, luckily she was close to what was usually classed as full-term for a multiple birth.

"Damn. So your seed put'm in there and now it's bringin' 'em out. That's some good stuff you got."

"Get outta here." He shoved him jokingly before making his way over to Nicki, she was sat sleepily with a blanket draped over herself. "You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah, just a lil' tired." She answered after yawning. "Where's Candi and all them at?"

"On their way over now, so you can tell'm hi and bye 'cause you gotta go rest. That was the whole point of leavin' the hospital."

"Yeah I am kinda sleepy." She pulled her phone out as he took a seat next to her. "You think I should tell the Barbz now or later?"

"Later." He turned to face her seriously. "If you tell'm now then the whole world is gon' know and be all up in our business."

"Oh, yeah." She frowned before retweeting a few things and sliding her phone back into her pocket and rested her head on his shoulder.

"So, you really gonna do it?" He felt her move as she looked at him.

"Do what?"

"Not have the c-section?" His voice sounded concerned and although he wanted to support her decision he still worried for her well-being.

"Well neither of them are in breech position now babe, we already talked about this." She grabbed his hand gently. "They said I'm fine to have'm naturally and if anythin' goes wrong then they can do an emergency c-section." Scanning his face for a reaction she waited for a while before he finally nodded.

"As long as you're fine about it, then so am I." He kissed her gently as he caressed her bump. "I can't believe they gonna be here soon."

"I know." She cooed and looked down at herself as if she could actually see them. She couldn't wait to lay her eyes on them for the first time and see them, having only ever imagined what they looked like.

"You scared?"

"Mm, a little bit." She chewed her lip anxiously. "But as long as you're there I'll be okay."

"I'mma be there through everythin'. The tears, the screams, the blood-"

"Okay Safaree, I get it! You'll be there." She blurted out to cut him off, not wanting to think about the pain or blood she was about to encounter.

"And the names? You still like 'em?" He was worried that she was only saying yes to the names he'd picked because of how much he'd missed out on her pregnancy, but honestly she really did like them.

"I love them." She kissed him again and snuggled into his side as her parents and brothers conversed with Safaree's Mother, Terrence and Joyce. She was glad they were with her too, having not seen them in what felt like forever. Plus Joyce had given her a raw idea of what to expect as opposed to her Mother's rosy version of how beautiful childbirth was. At least now she had a realistic idea of what she was about to endure.

"Hold up, don't fall asleep yet. I think Candi's here." He let her sit up before he went to get the door, it was Candi who'd kindly brought TT and Thembi along with her and much to Nicki's surprise Lauren too.


*Thanks for reading :) I hope this was okay!*

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

17. Behaviour Uncalled For

*Okay so I hit a brick wall with CM right now but I'm trying to get it together so I decided to post on here and WTWC today ^_^ Hope this is ok! And thx so much for the comments on chapter 16! The posts I'm doing today are quite small but that's only for today I'mma start posting again as usual and try get some longer chapters in :))*

It was getting late and everyone could see that Nicki was tired as she lay pathetically into Safaree's side. Her parents along with Safaree's were stopping in the spare rooms and everyone else was leaving. In the space of thirty minutes every person had cleared out of the house.

"You want somethin' to eat before you go to bed?" Safaree couldn't help but smile at how Carol would talk to Nicki as if she was still a child living at home.

"No thanks, I ate like a truckload for lunch." She rubbed her stomach before taking a seat at the table. Her friends were the only non-family members still there, everybody was in the lounge room down the hall and as soon as Mama Carol left the kitchen it was just Nicki and Lauren. She could tell she wanted to leave but spoke up before she could make a move. "You okay Lauren?"

"I'm fine, I just need an early night." She smiled and rubbed Nicki's hand. "I think I'm gonna head off but I'll-"

"No, don't go yet!" she felt her small hand grip on to hers as she tried to stand. "I need to talk to you."

"What is it?" The curiosity on her face wasn't genuine as she returned to her seat. Nicki knew that she knew what she was going to ask her.

"What's goin' on with you? And don't even think about lyin' 'cause you already spun enough of those. I'm not stupid Lauren, there's somethin' up with you." She looked like a deer caught in the headlights but that expression changed as Safaree walked in, placing his hands on Nicki's shoulders as she took no notice of him. He kissed her head and carried on over to fridge, Lauren's eyes followed him all the way and Nicki didn't fail to notice. Turning her own head she looked at him and then back to Lauren, her gaze still hadn't broken. "What are you starin' at?" Her demanding voice made her tear away her eyes and look back at Nicki's face.

"I'm really fine Nic, don't stress yourself out. It ain't good for-"

"No, don't turn this back on me. I asked you if you were okay, now could you please answer me truthfully?" Safaree could feel the tension in the room and grabbed his plate of scraps before leaving quickly.

"I'm just goin' through some stuff right now, but it's fine. I'm gettin' through it."

"You don't have to just "get through it" though, y'know you can talk to us? Why didn't you say somethin'?"

"I can't talk about this, 'specially not with you." Nicki's face contorted as she gave her a look.

"The hell is that s'posed to mean?"

"Look at you! You got everythin' anyone could ever want. You wouldn't understand."

"Wait, if you're talkin' 'bout bein' famous and-"

"I'm not." She took a breath and started playing with her nails as she avoided making eye contact with her friend. "I mean your life right now, you and Safaree are gettin' things together. You're abouta have twins. I'on know I just want what you have and sometimes it's like you can't even see how blessed you are." She finished her heartfelt explanation and left Nicki sat there speechless.

"Don't think I'm not grateful for what I have, 'cause I am. Really, Safaree's the best thing to have ever happened to me!" She smiled as she spoke but Lauren's face remained the same. "You'll have all of this soon, hopefully more planned and thought out than the way I'm experiencin' it."

"That's the thing though, I won't. I can't." The sudden crack in Lauren's voice made Nicki frown and grab her hand.

"Sure you will, you're-"

"Nicki, you don't get it. I ca-" She cut herself off and huffed. "I can't."

"You can't what?" This was becoming more and more confusing to Nicki's already frazzled mind, she didn't know whether it was because Lauren was actually being confusing or if she was just tired after a relatively big day.

"I can't have kids Nicki."


"Just like that? That's all she said?" Safaree was removing his watch as he sat on the edge of the bed with Nicki laying behind him.

"Yeah." Her answer was followed by a deep sigh causing Safaree to turn and look at her.

"She can't be mad at you 'cause you can have babies though, that's just messed up."

"She's not mad with me Safaree, she's just..." Her thoughts cut into her sentence as she became quiet again. "I feel so bad that she felt like she couldn't speak to us, y'know?" SB was listening as he ripped the cover up and climbed in next to her.

"Wait, when did she find out 'bout all of this?"

"After you left. And there I was sat tellin' her how a got pregnant by accident. And with twins too." She slapped her hand on to her face and groaned. Lauren hadn't told her the whole story but she was more than cut up about the whole thing, especially having to watch one of her best friends experience all of this and not be able to ever know what it's like herself.

They lay together and talked for ages. By the time they actually got to sleep Nicki had been in tears about Lauren and tired herself out even more, leaving Safaree with his own thoughts. There was no doubt about it. He felt so bad for Lauren, even more when he thought about how much he was always going on about the twins, he was mentally kicking himself but couldn't carry on like that. How was he supposed to know what was wrong with her? Feeling Nicki stir next to him he sat up and peered over at her face, her brow was furrowed deeply. She had done this two nights ago and as soon as he started rubbing her back she became still again and her face relaxed. Sleep wasn't far away from him as he continued rubbing at her skin and before he knew it he was fast asleep too.

As the weeks passed by Nicki and Safaree were well on their way back to normal and they were taking things slowly in terms of her leaving the house. She didn't for a while but then whenever  Safaree would head out to go get something she'd just ride with him in the car so she could leave the self-made prison. The word was out that she was pregnant and now everybody knew but she figured that would have to come out sooner or later. As for Drake he hadn't been heard from in a long while but he definitely wasn't forgotten. With his focus purely on the road Safaree kept the speed up as they headed across town to Rex's place, it was Candi's birthday and a couple of them they were going around to celebrate. They already decided before hand that they weren't staying too long, just a quick hello, happy birthday and goodbye.

"S'up with you?"


"Yeah, 'cause that's exactly what it seems like." He shook his head and carried on concentrating on the road whilst she just ignored his last comment and played mindlessly on her phone. Honestly she was already feeling uncomfortable with the thought of being around Lauren right now, she just wanted the night to be over so they could go home. Not to mention her new worry of going into labour at any moment. The rest of the short car journey was silent until they pulled up to a stop and he helped her out of the car. They just let themselves in and followed the noise of people people talking before they actually found them all in the back lounge room.

"Oh my God, is that Nicki? Actually outta the house?"

"Fuck you." Her dry response matched with a blank stare made Rex laugh as he walked over to them.

"Nah I'm just playin', they all through there." He gestured behind him and let her past before greeting Safaree.

The room went a little quiet as she walked in, mostly out of surprise that she'd even come out. The silence was temporary before Candi jumped up to see her. Embracing her in a hug she led her to the couch. Everything was going smoother than she thought after she'd wished her a happy birthday and gave her a gift, until TT started asking about baby names.

"How can you be ready to pop 'em out any time now and still not have come up with any names? That's the first thing I'd do!"

"I'on know, it's just somethin' we haven't really spoke about." She shrugged under their gaze and caught a glimpse of a very uncomfortable looking Lauren as she played with one of her bangles.

"You must have some ideas?" Now Candi was offering her input too, much to Nicki's annoyance. She wanted to keep the focus on the main reason they were here but it was all turning back on to her. She was glad the guys had all moved outside, the only reason being that they didn't want to smoke around her.

"I really don't though." She smiled before looking between their faces. "Anyway tonight isn't about me, it's your birthday."

"How kind of you to notice." The spiteful comment wasn't just noticed by Nicki as all three girls turned to look at Lauren's scathing face. TT was about to open her mouth but Thembi stopped her.

"How 'bout we get some birthday drinks goin' or somethin'? Orange juice for Nic of course. Come help me." Thembi nudged her before jumping up and moving through to the kitchen. There was silence once again as Nicki looked down at herself and Candi switched her eyes from her two friends.

"Okay, the hell is wrong with you two?" The anger was more than clear in her tone and facial expression as she spoke.

"What, you mean aside from her makin' everythin' about herself?"

"Lauren I'm tryin' to understand what you're goin' through, I really am! But you can't keep actin' like this with me, it ain't my fault!"

"What the hell are you two talkin' about?!"

"Look, I think I'm just gonna leave. I have an appointment early in the morning. Happy birthday Can." She stood up with a struggle and grabbed her purse. "Tell Safaree I'll be waitin' in the car." That was all she said before she left.


*Again, I'm sorry it's short but I did this one as well as CM and a sneak peek for WTWC today so I'll do some more tomorrow :)) Hope it was ok*

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

16. Diagnosis - Part Two

* I haven't updated this one in a while so here goes, the last chapter was really not good and I apologise! I'm trying to get it back on track though :) Hope this is ok!*

Safaree stood as soon as the Doctor entered, he had a bunch of files in his hand. Slipping them under his arm he shut the door behind himself. Nicki was still alseep, reminding them to keep their talking at a low volume.

"So what was it you needed to talk to me 'bout?" It was obvious how nervous he was feeling as he stared anxiously.

"Oh it's nothin' too serious but it is quite important."

"Is it the babies?"

"Please, sit down Mr Samuels and I'll explain everything." Safaree did as he was asked and resumed his seat by Nicki's bedside. The doctor did exactly as he said he would. Running through every aspect of what had happened to Nicki, reasons why it could have happened and everything Safaree could do in future to prevent it from happening again. SB caught himself feeling overwhelmed listening to all the signs and symptoms, some of them sounded terrifying. Then he moved on to another topic, her celebrity status. He discussed the fact that the added stress and pressure she was under from the public would probably have contributed greatly not to mention any traumatic experiences she's had. Safaree's mind swilled back to thoughts of Drake and everything he'd done to her. The guilt of leaving her would never leave him. Ever.

"Mr Samuels?" He looked up at the sound of his name.

"Sorry it's been a long day." Trailing his eyes back over Nicki's peaceful face he was glad he didn't have to see her go through any of that today. He would have preferred it if he was there for her but all the while he was just glad.

"I understand, I'll get the discharge papers sorted for you." He smiled kindly and turned to leave, stopping briskly in the door frame. "Oh and we'll try and minimise the amount of crowding outside when you leave."


"Well, I assumed you knew that there was dozens of photographers outside." His brow furrowed confusedly as Safaree's face dropped. Now her secret was out.

"Aight, thanks." He nodded back at him and left.

Although the hospital security tried their up most to clear the hospital entry there was still people piled outside. Instinctively Safaree kept a firm hold on Nicki as they made their way out, he could feel her clutching on to him desperately as they tried to get into the truck. The driver didn't hesitate to get out and hold the door open for the pair of them, it took a while understandably since they were trying to pry themselves through all the people in the dark. Only temporary flashes of cameras illuminated the environment around them. He could hear some of them yelling to give them space to walk but they weren't listening. Finally reaching the vehicle he made sure to get her in first, she was still holding her jacket over her bump in attempt to conceal the view but she knew as well as him that they'd already got pictures. Climbing in next to her he slammed the door, not caring if anyones extremities were in his way.

"You good?" He watched over her as she sank back into the seat, nodding. This was ridiculous, he knew this was what they signed up for when she pursued this career but hounding her like that when she was pregnant and just suffered and anxiety attack? He didn't know how much longer he'd be able to stand this. What would happen when she had the twins?

"I know what you're thinkin'." His thoughts came to an immediate halt as he looked over at her. The car was moving now, thankfully leaving behind the incessant clicking and flashing of the paparazzi.

"You do?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It's written all over your face Safaree." She gave him a knowing smile before grabbing his hand. "Talk to me." He hesitated, wondering whether or not to tell her about the text from Drake. Ultimately deciding that she'd had enough to deal with for today he pushed the memory to the back of his mind.

"I was jus' thinkin' 'bout when you get further on with the pregnancy will they still be hasslin' you like that? Y'know? And what about when they're actually born they gonna be in talks 'bout who the Dad is and-"



"Shut up." She laughed as she said it and snuggled into his side as he smiled. "It'll be fine, and if they start askin' questions I'll just tell 'em who their Dad is."

"But you don't know who the Father is, could be Drake for all we know."

"Biologically he could be. But you're gonna be the one raisin' them. Feedin' them, changin' their diapers, teachin' them to walk and talk." She tilted her head up to look at him. "Either way, you're gonna be their real Father. No matter what."

"You mean that?"

"I wouldn't say it otherwise." She blinked lazily as he smiled down at her before relaxing back into the seat with her.

Before they knew it they were back at the house and obviously with it being close to 10pm they settled on having something quick to eat before going to sleep. Laying in bed his thoughts continued to spiral as she was resting comfortably into his side, her head resting on his outstretched arm.

"Safaree?" He jumped a little hearing her voice, he thought she was sleeping.


"Did you think Lauren was actin' weird today?" She kept facing the same direction until he turned his head to look at her.

"Didn't really notice, why?"

"Oh, I'on know, she just seemed really off. Like, almost mad but..." She trailed off in thought as she chewed gently on her lip. "I feel like I'm bein' so selfish."

"How are you bein' slefish? You've had a traumatic day. It ain't your fault."

"I know but even she said today-"

"She said you were actin' selfish?"

"No, lemme finish." She blinked slowly and began again after he shut his mouth. "She was talkin' sarcastically and told me she was sorry that they couldn't have their own problems to deal with."

"Oh and that made you feel selfish?"

"Yeah. Like, I've been too wrapped in my own shit that I haven't noticed that she's goin' through somethin'. You think she's okay?"

"Well you've had a lot to deal with Nic. Nobody is holdin' that against you. As for Lauren, I'm sure she's fine, she seemed okay with me but you could just give her a call tomorrow. Now, go to sleep 'cause I got a surprise for you in the mornin'." He kissed her one last time as they re-settled to go to sleep, but she still wasn't done.

"Wait, we're not-'

"No Nicki. We're not leavin' the house if you don't want to." He felt her relax again and snuggle back into him as he shook his head.

Amazingly they both got enough sleep that evening. Safaree thought he was going to be kept awake with her frequent waking during the night but she slept like a log the whole way through, in turn giving him a peaceful night's sleep too. Having already got up and performed his usual morning routine he was sat downstairs on the laptop. There was pictures all over the internet already, feeling himself becoming irked he slammed it shut.

"S'up with you?" She approached him from behind and ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest as she got to be as close to him as her bump would let her.

"Nothin' that you should be worryin' 'bout." Clasping on to her hands he pulled her around on to the stool next to him. "I'm gon' make your food-"

"What about my surprise?"

"Well if you were patient enough I was just gettin' 'round to that, food first and then I'll get on to the surprise." He kissed her pouting face and moved over to the counter, making her food. Bringing his eyes up to stare at her he sighed seeing her scrolling down the endless articles on the laptop, he knew he should have moved it but she'd find out sooner or later.

"Do they really have nothin' better to do?" She let out a long sigh. "Whatever, I'm not gon' let it get to me. Not today." Slamming the piece of technology shut she slid it away from herself and sat her elbows on the table. "How long will the food be?"

"It's done." She spun around quickly hearing how close he was. Her excited face dropped as he placed a bowl of cut up fruit in front of her.

"Where's the actual food?"

"That's it. It's fruit, it's good for you." Throwing the tea towel over his shoulder he waited for her to eat it. "I'm not allowed what you had?"

"Nicki I had this too."

"How are you about to tell me that when your damn plate is still sat on the table?" He followed her eyes as they fell upon his plate which had previously been home to strips upon strips of turkey bacon along with the whole deal.

"Fine. Eat that, then I'll think about it." She rolled her eyes and started picking out the pieces she wanted to eat.

"So, what's my surprise?"

"Get your fruit, I'll show you." Holding his hand out for her she grabbed it with her free hand, her fruit bowl secured in the other. As they got closer to back of the house she could hear people talking, at first she thought it was on the TV but noticed it was turned off.

"Safaree-" She stopped dead when he opened the sliding door to the back yard, revealing the whole of both his and her families along with all their friends staring at them. "Oh my God! How did you-"

"That doesn't matter, they're here aren't they?" He kissed her before releasing her from his hold as she went to say hello to everyone. Honestly he'd been organising this for ages and was thankful that it all played out. Watching everyone stood around and sat at the tables he set out he smiled seeing Nicki with her Mom. He saw Lauren stood alone, she looked troubled to say the least. Making his way over to her she hadn't even noticed him slide up to her.

"Aye, s'goin on with you?" The question was asked out of genuine concern as he grabbed himself a steak off of the barbecue. Now he was glad that he'd set out paper plates, no cleaning up.

"I'on know what she's been tellin' you but I'm fine." She forced a weak smile and looked over at Nicki, she looked a lot calmer than yesterday. Truthfully that had really scared her and she was relieved to know she was okay for now.

"Nicki never said anythin'. It's obvious that there's somethin' botherin' you. What's up?" He was lying as he cut greedily into his steak, paying attention to her sadness at the same time.

"Please? Can we not do this here?" She looked down before throwing her empty paper plate into the trash bag next to them. "I'm just gon' go use your bathroom." Leaving before he had chance to speak another word he watched her disappear inside, Nicki was right she was acting out of character.

The day rolled on pleasantly until the biting cold of the evening weather forced them back indoors. Safaree was in shock about the fact that Nicki hadn't fallen asleep yet. Getting her alone in their bathroom he shut and locked the door behind him.

"Oh? So now you're following me to the bathroom?" She was just drying her hands as he moved closer to her, securing both of his hands on her hips.

"What, I'm not allowed to have you to myself for a lil' bit?" He smiled into her neck as he kissed and nipped at her skin starting something he definitely intended to finish, to which she happily complied.
Thankfully all the commotion downstairs drowned out her moans as he had her sat on the sink whilst he devoured her.


After kissing her deeply he wiped his mouth and let her down so she could put her panties back on.

"I'm never talkin' to you again if anyone heard us Safaree." Raising his brows at her smirking he tapped her on the ass as they left the bathroom. Nobody had heard them, at least that's what they thought. Sat in the bedroom next to theirs Lauren had heard everything as she fought to hold the tears back. She shook her head angrily and tried to force the tears away and when she finally succeeded she checked herself over before joining everyone else downstairs again.

*Hope this was alrightish, I was gonna do HIA tonight too and I already typed a bit but I can only post in between revision hours so I might post it tomorrow if I get chance :) Thanks for all the comments on chapter 15 ^___^*