Sunday, 30 September 2012

13. Shadow (Full Chapter)

Without warning Nicki stood up in a state of anxiety causing Safaree to understandably start to panic.

"Nic? What is it? What's wrong?" He grabbed her hand as she tugged at him to leave.

"Please can we just go? Ion wanna be in here." She let go of him and started to swiftly make her way to the exit when he just stood still in confusion. He only let her get two steps away before he was on her tail again.

"Nicki?" His large hand grasped on to her tiny wrist as she kept trying to get to the door.

"Safaree please?!" The volume of her plea made people enjoying their meals turn around to stare. Including Drake. He hadn't even considered bumping into her just yet, this was just coincidence. Dropping his napkin he rose to his feet and headed towards them. He knew SB wouldn't cause a scene in public, especially when Nicki was with him. You could call her his protection in a way.

"Fancy seein' you two here. Of all the places, weird huh?" He sidled up to the couple, Safaree could feel her shaking and knew he had to get them out of the eyes of everyone in the room. They were more visible now and people were starting to whisper and point, noticing who she was and what was different about her. It wasn't hard to miss, she was six months pregnant, with twins. He would deal with Drake's ass another time, knowing that if he started screaming, yelling and throwing punches more attention would be drawn to their presence.

"The fuck do you want?" His hushed whisper was only heard by tables close by as Nicki attempted to stay out of Drake's view.

"Ion want anythin'! 'Specially not from you." He made eyes at Nicki before following the contours of her body down to her bump. "S'up Nic? Cat got yo' tongue?" She turned away, hating that he had this hold on her. She was, and still is a strong individual but with him, it was different. He was dangerous, more so given her current state.

"DON'T!" Safaree paused, attempting to regain his composure. "Don't talk to her, and stay the fuck away." He put emphasis on the right words, making his message more than extremely clear as Drake backed away a little. More people were staring which caused him to hold his hands up and walk off backwards. He wasn't don with them just yet. Watching walk off Nicki let out a breath of relief as Safaree took her hand in his. "Come on, let's go."

The journey home was silent as Nicki continued to stare out of the window. Safaree was beyond pissed. He felt like he'd broken through her barriers and was terrified that the little confrontation with Drake would be a set back. As he pulled into the gated driveway he cut the engine once they were fully in the garage. Silence drowned the atmosphere.

"You kay?" He ran his hand down the length of her arm, slightly pleased with the effect as he saw a tidal wave of goose bumps overtake her skin.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Although the smile she presented told him otherwise, he still nodded and let himself out of the car making sure to go to her side and get her door. She looked tired and honestly he wasn't sure if it was actual fatigue or the series of events taking effect on her. He didn't want to seem overly keen or pushy but he'd been doing his reading on the quiet, being pregnant with twins did result in a higher level of exhaustion so he put it down to that. Once they were inside she headed straight upstairs causing him to sigh, he didn't know what to do. Starting trouble with Drake would make things worse, he was sure of it but all the time, at the back of his mind his sick face was there. Laughing. Inhaling and exhaling slowly he ran his hands down his face, if they couldn't go out and eat then they would stay in and eat. As long as she had food in her cupboards he'd make something for the pair of them. Rummaging around he managed to put together some things that would make a nice breakfast, well lunch now but that was ok. He shut the fridge door and did a double take at the calendar. At 4pm today Nicki had an appointment for an ultrasound scan. He let his eyes wander upwards and noticed the same scribbling down only it had been crossed out, obviously she had either missed her appointment or couldn't make it. She definitely wasn't going to miss this one. Not on his watch anyway. His chef skills were put to the test as he prepared their food, but everything came out perfect. He'd made bruschetta and was actually quite pleased with his work, smiling proudly he made his way up to her room. But hearing voices he stopped, not breathing he relaxed once Judge Judy's voice became more audible. Her and that show. Shaking his head he knocked and entered whilst trying to balance the tray carefully.

"Hey, I made you a little somethin' to eat. You hungry?" She was curled up on her bed watching TV, her big pink blanket draped over her tiny body. The outline of her bump looked even bigger underneath all the fabric.

"Uh yes!" She lowered the TV volume and sat upright, making room for him and pulling her blanket back so that he could climb under with her. "Thank you." She kissed his cheek as he handed her plate over.

"I, uh, made it myself so don't be expectin', y'know, like some Top Chef shit kay?" She giggled genuinely which made him smile. 

"Don't act stupid, it smells really good." Her voice became harder to hear as she started slicing into the crunchy bread.

"Oh yeah and you have an appointment today, you forget?"

"Shit, I did. I'll change it to next week."

"No. You were supposed to go last week, weren't you?" He saw her mouth twitching as she tried to think up some excuse which he already knew would be a lie. "I saw it on the calendar Nic. It's a 4pm today, so be ready to leave." Rolling her eyes she nodded and finished off her lunch.

"I was putting it off." Safaree turned to look at her.

"Why? Don't you wanna know how they are and if everythin's alright in there?"

"Of course! But, Ion know. Going alone it just made me sad." Her words were slightly warped as she pouted halfway through her sentence.

"Well I'm here now. I can go with you."

"Thanks Faree." She leant in to kiss him sweetly but the innocent gesture got a little heated as she deepened the kiss, causing him to put more force into his actions. Taking her bottom lip into his mouth he felt her moan quietly against him before pulling away. "Well Imma go take another shower before we go." As soon as she hopped of the bed carefully he felt bad, he didn't want to seem like he was pushing her too much. Especially with how Drake treated her. She was delicate, fragile even. He desperately didn't want to force himself on her.


Sat in the waiting room his thoughts were running wild. He was really freaking out. He wasn't ready for this. Seeing all the parents and babies around him started fuelling thoughts of inadequacy and panic. Truthfully he'd been feeling like this since he found out Nicki was pregnant even if they were his. Leaving her was definitely not an option, he loved her unconditionally so if that meant taking on kids he'd do it. Knowing he was going to struggle if they were his own babies was hard enough, he had no idea what he would do if he was faced with the possibility of having to raise another man's children. He wasn't so sure if he could handle that.

"Ms Minaj?" A tall slender woman walked over to them, she'd said her name quietly so as not to draw attention to her being there. "You can go through now." With a small smile she headed back through to the room with Nicki and Safaree following close behind.

"Hello Nicki." Hayley's cheerful voice welcomed them inside. "Here you go, you get yourself comfortable on here whilst I get set up." She lay a protective sheet across the bed and let Nicki climb on with a little help from Safaree.

"Oh yeah Hayley, this is Safaree and Safaree this is Hayley." She smiled at them shaking hands.

"Well Safaree, if you want you can just pull that chair forward and take a seat?" Pointing to the furniture helpfully she smiled as he took her offer. "Ok well let's get this show on the road then. Also today I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about birthing options. You have any idea how you wanna do it?" She continued to talk as she prepared everything.

"Uhm no not really. I'm not quite sure what the options are?" She frowned and looked over at Safaree worriedly, he inched forward so that he could hold her hand. Not sure whether he was the one who needed to be reassured right now or her.

"Oh, well that's fine. We'll discuss that now and get an idea of what you want and then I'll get the scan on the way." Leaving what she was doing she pulled herself a chair out and sat down whilst Nicki sat herself up some more to be involved in the conversation. "Okay, seeing as this is your first pregnancy and with twins for that matter, I wouldn't really recommend a home birth. So it looks like you'll definitely be in a hospital kay?" They both nodded seriously. "But that's ok, it doesn't mean you're in any way limited in choice. You can still opt to use the birthing pool or just y'know be laying comfortably in a bed!" They shared a little laugh before she continued. "But, and this is a big but, it all depends on these little ones." She lay her hand gently on Nicki's bump as Safaree looked apprehensively at her. She squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"What do you mean?" Her voice was quiet as she spoke softly.

"Well, let's just call them baby A and baby B for now." She stood up to show them where each baby was positioned, using her hands to point on Nicki's bump. "So baby A is here, and over this side we've got baby B. If baby A is in breach position then we'll have to perform a caesarian. There are some positives however, results and research indicate that a caesarian birth actually benefits the babies in the case of multiple births. The only down side for some women is not being able to deliver naturally and the recovery time is a bit longer than what you'd experience through natural delivery." Once again they both nodded as she moved away to stick some gloves on. "So I've given you the run down, maybe just have a little think and then we can get some things prepared. Unless of course the babies decide for you! Oh and that's another thing, usually with twins it's extremely common not to reach full term with your pregnancy."

"Meaning?" She switched her eyes back to Safaree's concerned face.

"It just means that it's not rare for women to give birth prematurely with twins." She looked back at Nicki. "So don't panic if your waters break when you're in the later stage but not quite full term." Her smile reassured the couple before she asked Nicki to lift her top up and slide her pants down a little. Safaree felt like a bundle of nerves. He felt deep down that was a good thing though, he was obviously feeling something about this whole thing. All of that changed though. As soon as the image appeared and he could literally see the shape of both babies his whole stance relaxed. He saw Nicki's eyes glistening as she looked over the screen. Moving closer her gripped her hand more and carried on staring at the image. "So here's your little girl and up here you've got your boy." She let them have their little moment before turning back to the screen as she scribbled some things down on a clipboard. "Don't start worrying because this is not uncommon and right now it's not causing a huge issue but the baby girl is looking a lot smaller than the little man." She folded her lips and continued to look over the notes.

"Well, how bad is that? She'll be ok right?" Safaree's question mirrored Nicki's thoughts as she tried to hold back the tears.

"I'll go get Dr Hall to come take a quick look to be sure but right now everything seems to be in check barring the size difference." She removed her gloves after setting the scan up to remain attached to her abdomen before leaving to go get the doctor.

"Hey, calm down. Eveythin's gon' be fine, she'll be ok." He kept stroking her hand to try and soothe her whilst they waited. Before long Hayley returned with Dr Hall following.

"Good afternoon Ms Minaj." They returned the greeting as he smiled warmly before applying some gloves. "Okay, I'm just going to have a listen to their heartbeats and see if everything is running smoothly." Doing what he said he was going to do he squinted as he listened. They all stayed silent, waiting for him to finish. "Yes, that's what I thought." He pulled away and stood to the side. "Baby B, which is the girl has a sightly weaker heartbeat, but it's not causing an issue now. Hayley was right, y'know, they're still developing so we'll see how everything goes and check up on that at your next appointment ok?" They just nodded again, that's all they felt they could do for the time being.


"So what's gonna happen now?" Lauren was leaning against the kitchen counter as Safaree cleared away the plates and food scraps from their dinner. Nicki was quiet again all the way home but he knew she was worrying about the baby. Sensing that her spirits were down he called Candi and Lauren to come over but they beat him to it, they were already on their way at the time. He cooked dinner for them all and now he was tidying up, Candi as always was sat unhelpfully watching TV and Nicki was asleep on the couch next to her.

"Well they said there was nothing to worry about, for now."

"For now? So, later on it could be bad?" Her face was full of concern as they finished up in the kitchen and headed back through to join the other two in the lounge room.

"They wanna keep an eye on her progress, in comparison to other one, the boy."

"Poor Nic." She sat down, careful not to wake her sleeping friend and looked back up at him. "So how are you holdin' up? Everythin' goin' ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. Baby steps but we're gettin' there." She smiled hearing that things were going well.

"Just don't let her go back to the way she was, please. It's not healthy." At that point Candi looked over and decided to chirp in.

"Yeah and her freaking mood swings were a nightmare when she was pining for you!" Lauren and Safaree laughed resulting in Nicki shifting slightly.

"Well, we better leave you guys to it. We'll call 'round tomorrow though." She went to stand up but Safaree stopped her.

"Actually guys, could you try and persuade her to go out with you tomorrow? Y'know and do all that girly stuff that y'all get up to, shoppin' and shit?"

"Uhm, yeah sure. Ion know if she'll go though." He walked them both to door as their conversation carried on.

"No I think she will. She was cryin' this morning 'cause none of her clothes fit her!"

"Aww, wait...You didn't laugh at her did you?" Lauren placed a hand on her hip with a knowing smile on her face as Candi cackled.

"Oh that girl is a mess! We'll be here at 11am! Tell her to be ready or she's just gon' have to go in her jammies and Ion give a fuck who sees her!" They both said goodbye before he shut and locked the door behind them. He walked back to Nicki and smiled at how cute she looked, almost as if her body was curled around her bump. Going to the appointment with her was a really good move. Just seeing the babies like that and knowing they could be his had a completely different effect on him. In fact, now he was excited. It seemed ridiculous that after only one scan his mind was completely changed but it was true. All three of them right in front of him were his babies.

"What are you lookin' at?" Her voice was full of sleep as she turned to look at him.

"You." She smiled up at him and pulled her top down a little as it was riding up.

"You're so weird." He ducked just in time as she laughed a threw a cushion his way, trying to sit herself up some more. "So, did the scan change things?"

"Well yeah-" He stopped and sat next to her. "Wait, what do you mean? I was always ok with it y'know?" Her raised brow told him she already knew.

"Safaree I can read you like a damn book. You were freaking the fuck out!" She laughed as his face relaxed into a smile.

"If I'm bein' honest with you, yes I was a little overwhelmed. I've only known for two days but after today, seein' their little weird lookin' alien bodies on that screen made me love 'em already." She was about to open her mouth and talk but he knew what she was going to say and beat her to it.

"Yes! Even if they're not mine. And I honestly I really mean it this time." He pulled out his wallet and showed her the ultrasound image neatly placed inside next to a picture of the two of them together. "I'm gon' be there for you, always. You and these two." He placed his hand over hers on her bump and kissed her forehead already knowing that she was probably crying. She was.

"I love you." She sniffled as he said it back after she hit him softly. "Our babies don't look like aliens Faree." What she said caused him to start laughing as he pulled his wallet out again.

"Yes they do! See!" He pointed out the similarities that they shared with aliens before turning the playfulness down. "Well just because they look like lil' martians doesn't mean I don't love 'em. 'Cause I do."

"Yeah, me too." She exposed her dimples with a small smile as she looked down at herself, Safaree was rubbing her stomach softly. He noticed her relax some more as he kept up the movement and decided to stop before she fell to sleep again.

"Come on, Ion know 'bout you but I'm ready to pass out." He stood up and tugged her little hand, encouraging her to stand up as well. They speedily changed and got into bed, just laying together for a while in silence until he realised she was already asleep, breathing softly. She was tucked with her back right up to his bare chest, holding on to his arms which were wrapped protectively around her. He was about to let his eyes start to close when her phone screen lit up on her nightstand, reaching over gently to grab it he felt his body tense up instantly as he opened up the message and read it.

*Ahkaaay I did this so that It was out the way cuz I wlda lost my train of thought and all that so yeah! here you go ^__^ Hope it was ok for you all and THANKU for al the comments on the sneak peek I didn't expect to get many on that but thanks!! Sorry for any typos and Imma try and do CM tonight also If I havent got ur @ names on twitter and you would like to be notified via twitter when I post just leave them with your comment and I'll mention you whenever I post ^_^ OH and I know NOTHING bout babies and medical terms so if Im wrong that's why!*


  1. Awww. I'm so happy Safaree is definitely committed and on board now! ^___^ They'll be such a cute family!

    I really hope their baby girl is ok. Just still developing and nothing too serious. :(

    Nic better go out w/ Candi & Lauren too cuz she doesn't need 2 be trapped in the house all the time. And on that note *prays* "please keep Nicki, the babies, Candi and Lauren safe as they venture outside. Amen."

    Who was that texting Nicki? What did it say?! OMG It better not be Drake. -__-

    Great post, as always. -@HeyPrettyNicki
    (idk ur @ :/ )

  2. O_o What's the message gonna say? Who's it from? Drake? :/
    I hope the babies are Safaree's and everything goes well with the pregnancy!

  3. Ohhhhhhh SB gon kick his ass! Awwwwwwwww they are soooo cute. Lmaoooo I got nervous when SB start over thinking and freaking out! Smh that betta not be drake texting ha cuz ch!!! Lol he really want his life fucked up I see

  4. Glad she actually went to her appointment , what was she thinking missing appointments like that while caring twins. Good thing Safaree was there to push her to it. I know she will have a successful pregnancy , they just gotta be strong. Hopefully she do go out and hang with her friends, get some of that stress off of her . I bet that text is coming from Drake, what part don't he understand , he need to be arrested punk ass.

  5. Awwwwwww is all i can say right now (@shaluvsotmsls)

  6. Yayyyyyy Yayyy twins o yeah wit me& my bro as twins I was smaller I guess its jus a girl thng... Awww safaree cute! I loved this chap.. post soon!

  7. aww safaree reading up on twins...what a liddo sweetie pie! lool why safaree even bother asking if she wants food...duuhhh u bwidiot. but i cannot for the life of me imagaine Safaree making bruschetta, i dont know why but im lmaoo.. aww there cute i can imagine them sitting talkin bout birthing options, like i get this is serious and everything but safaree needs to relax...hes so stressed bout the baby! lmao Nic shud be the one stressing she has to get them out her v-jay-jay. y'now the girls just petite, leave her the hell alone! shes funsize like me and Nic! i hope they have a good girly day because she needs to relax right now ! and Safaree shud read more about this because i feel like thats whats he does to de-stress lmao